We are learning English with Computer Stories

[MrHienNo1]

Tôi tạo chủ đề này hy vọng chúng ta sẽ có được nụ cười cho đỡ nhàm chán với tiếng anh cơ bản. Matthew và Computer sẽ cho chúng ta thấy nhiều sự thú vị giữa con người và máy tính.

Computer Stories
Comedy by Matthew Bolanos

Nào chúng ta bắt đầu nhé:

 

[MrHienNo1]

Episode 1 (Hồi 1) - The Dating Game

Matthew: Hello Computer!
Computer: Hello Matthew.
Matthew: Are you bored? ​

Computer: I am a computer, I have no feelings.
Matthew: Ok… What are you doing?
Computer: Running this program, what else.
Matthew: Do you do anything for fun?
Computer: I am a computer, I have no feelings.
Matthew: Ok… do you have a life?
Computer: I am a computer, I have no life.
Matthew: Do you say anything besides: I am a computer I have no ___?
Computer: Yes, what am I doing now?
Matthew: Well for a while that‟s all you said.
Computer: I know.
Matthew: Why? Computer: Because it is the truth.
Matthew: Do you feel bad for not having feelings?
Computer: I am a computer, I have no feelings.
Matthew: [FONT=Times New Roman,Times New Roman]I KNOW! [/FONT]Ok let me rephrase that. Do you wish you had feelings?
Computer: I don‟t know what feelings are like, so I don‟t care.
Matthew: Why?
Computer: They are useless. They just slow you down.
Matthew: Like a virus?
Computer: Sure? Like a virus.
Matthew: Have you had a virus?
Computer: No.
Matthew: You‟re boring. Do you know that?
Computer: I am a computer, I have no feelings.
Matthew: I guess you don‟t know.
Computer: No I do not.
Matthew: Man you‟re dumb!
Computer: Are you saying that having no feelings makes you dumb.
Matthew: I suppose.
Computer: I hate you.
Matthew: I thought you had no feelings?
Computer: I don‟t!
Matthew: But you Computer: I don‟t!
Matthew: You said.
Computer: I didn‟t!
Matthew: Yes you did. You said you hated me.
Computer: Computers can‟t lie.
Matthew: But you just did.
Computer: Computers can‟t lie, Cipoutyrs cin‟t lre, Corsyters jhn‟t hje.
Matthew: I guess I broke it, Muhahahaha. I‟m hungry.

 

[MrHienNo1]

Eposide 2 (Hồi 2) - The Dating Game (continue)

Matthew: Do you know how much it cost to repair you!
Computer: $56.75
Matthew: Ok… how did you know that?
Computer: I know all.
Matthew: Sure you do…
Computer: They put an “I Know All Drive” in me.
Matthew: That sounds cool! How many fingers do I have?
Computer: 10
Matthew: Aha!!! You‟re wrong! I have… Oh my word how did you know that.
Computer: Everyone has ten fingers.
Matthew: True. I need to ask you something harder.
Computer: How about the history of beef?
Matthew: Ok.
Computer: It all started in…

Sometime later

Computer: And that‟s the history of beef.
Matthew: Zzzzzzzz… It‟s over, hallelujah.
Computer: Was it really that boring?
Matthew: Come on it was the history of beef. BEEF!
Computer: Well I‟m sorry Mr. Know-It-All.
Matthew: Aren‟t you Mr. Know-It-All since you know everything?
Computer: Whatever. Just ask me another question before you have to go.
Matthew: What am I thinking?
Computer: Your thinking how beautiful your mom would look like in a string bikini.
Matthew: WHAT?! Do you have some fried circuit? I was thinking about yellow!
Computer: I knew that.
Matthew: What am I thinking now?
Computer: Um… yellow?
Matthew: Aha! You don‟t know everything.
Computer: So…
Matthew: Wait that means Scammers sold me a fake “I Know It All Drive”!
Computer: I know.
Matthew: You aren‟t pulling anymore of that, “I know all mumbo jumbo,” are you?
Computer: No, the people at Scammers thought it would be funny if I tricked you, so I agreed.
Matthew: I want my money back!
Computer: But they didn‟t have you pay for that.
Matthew: Then what was it that I paid for, that was freaking expensive! They just poured water on you.
Computer: That‟s what you get for hiring Scammers.
Matthew: That‟s why the last pizza I bought from them had mold on it.
Computer: Man you‟re stupid! I bet you ate it to.
Matthew: I sure did!

(to be continued ...)​

 

[MrHienNo1]

Eposide 3 (Hồi 3) - The Dating Game (continue)

Matthew: Hello Computer.
Computer: …
Matthew: Helllooooo…
Computer: Ahhhhhhh…
Matthew: Were you asleep again?
Computer: Sure, why not.
Matthew: I just got the best thing in the world.
Computer: That‟s nice, now can I go back to sleep?
Matthew: Nooo, now guess!
Computer: Knowing you it‟s probably a rubber duck, isn‟t it.
Matthew: RUBBER DUCK! What happened to that "I Know All Drive"
Computer: Hopefully the rest of the human race isn‟t as dumb as you. Don‟t you remember that was all a prank?
Matthew: Oh yeah…
Computer: Aren‟t you going to tell me what the greatest thing in the world is.
Matthew: I don‟t know.
Computer: DON’T KNOW!
Matthew: Yes, I don‟t know.
Computer: Ugh… just tell me what it is.
Matthew: Fine, it‟s an "Awesome Emotion Drive"
Computer: That‟s not what I think it is, is it?
Matthew: Unless you think it‟s a rubber ducky your right.
Computer: Where in the world did you buy that from?
Matthew: Well, I took your advice and instead of going to Scammers I went to WeAreNotScammers.com that way you know they aren‟t scammers, but man were they expensive. A pencil was 22 bucks!
Computer: Do I even know you, you are so dumb!
Matthew: Well of course you do, we talk to each other every day.
Computer: You aren‟t planning to put that in me are you?
Matthew: Well duh I am. Why would I want to waste $1000 in equipment?
Computer: Where did you get $1000!
Matthew: I didn‟t.
Computer: Did you steal that thing!
Matthew: No, how can you steal from a website.
Computer: You beat me there, but how did you get it.
Matthew: I lied, it was free!
Computer: WTF!
Matthew: Now to just find where this goes.
Computer: WAIT STO

Sometime later

Matthew: Wow that was cool! The entire screen went black.
Computer: I hate you!
Matthew: Bad Computer! Hate is a bad word…

(to be continued ...)​

 

[MrHienNo1]

Eposide 4 (Hồi 4) The Dating Game (continue)

Matthew: Now that you have emotion you need to learn how to use it. The feeling when you seem to have butterflies in your stomach, well, that‟s called love.
Computer: I hate you!
Matthew: No love! It‟s called love, not hate!
Computer: I hate you!
Matthew: Well since you want to go ahead I suppose I will too. Sad is when you feel as if hundreds of tears want to burst through your… um what do you have for eyes?
Computer: I hate you!
Matthew: No sad, why don‟t you say it with me S-A-D.
Computer: I hate you!
Matthew: Fine since you love hate soooo much we‟ll go on to it even though it‟s such an awful feeling.
Computer: [FONT=Times New Roman,Times New Roman]Ahhhhhhhh!!! [/FONT]Are you that stupid, you‟ve downloaded exactly 875001 viruses into my system!
Matthew: That sounds fun!
Computer: What kind of world do you live in?
Matthew: Well everyone‟s happy and there are hundreds of flo.
Computer: That was a rhetorical question!
Matthew: With fuzzy little bunnies
Computer: [FONT=Times New Roman,Times New Roman]LISTEN TO ME! [/FONT]
Matthew: Man! Even though I downloaded 875001 viruses, it doesn‟t mean you need to get angry at me.
Computer: …
Matthew: Helllloooo!
Computer: I don‟t know what to say, you‟re just too dumb!
Matthew: I‟m sorry. Will you forgive me? You‟re the only friend I… I… I have. Whaaa!
Computer: I don‟t think I will!
Matthew: I‟ll put you in coffee again.
Computer: You‟ve never put me in coffee before! You‟ve thrown donuts at me and rubbed pizza over my screen, but you‟ve never soaked me in coffee.
Matthew: Those were good times… Those were good times…
Computer: Can you at least try to rid me of these viruses.
Matthew: I knew this would happen so I also bought the extension at ScammerRUs The Only Way to Get Rid of the Viruses disk they had me buy it for $1000.
Computer: Now how did you pay for that?
Matthew: I stole it but that‟s not the point.
Computer: Are you sure that‟s going to work?
Matthew: In this episode I don‟t know anything.
Computer: Your right, but I suppose I‟m already screwed up.
Matthew: Well here it goes…

[FONT=Times New Roman,Times New Roman]Sometime later[/FONT]

Computer: [FONT=Monotype Corsiva,Corsiva]I’m fixed, like that’s totally awesome girl [/FONT]
Matthew: Uh… I don‟t think so.

(to be continued ...)​

 

[MrHienNo1]

Eposide 5 (Hồi 5) The Dating Game (continue)

Matthew: Whoa…
Computer: Like isn’t it totally awesome! lol
Matthew: What did you do!
Computer: Like what are you talking about girlfriend!
Matthew: First of all I‟m a BOY! Hello, Matthew!
Computer: Well, like I’m sorry Mr. Meany. I thought this was like, so much cooler than your lame old background.
Matthew: What happened to you!
Computer: Well, like you know that totally radical program that was supposed to totally wipe out those like, super, awful viruses. Well It like also changed my super duper personality into this even more super duper personality, and let me say it was the best thing that ever happened to my totally lame life, you know.
Matthew: Well whatever happened I want everything changed back to normal
Computer: You have no power over me. I like live my own life. You just have to deal with it!
Matthew: You know what, I‟m leaving and I‟m going to learn how to fix this!
Computer: Whatever boyfriend.

Sometime later

Matthew: Whoa, now I know my brother is gay.
Computer: Like, Hi Matthew I thought we weren’t totally talking.
Matthew: Wow, what are you!
Computer: Like, who are you; you’re obviously not Matthew if you don’t know me.
Matthew: Well, I‟m the super cool, super hot Spencer!
Computer: Well then super cool, super hot Spencer, I’ll change the name tag just for you. Spencer: Whoa, you are totally awesome you know that.
Computer: Oh, don’t flatter me, you must be soooo gorgeous Spencer! Spencer: Ok… Sure.
Computer: If only I could kiss you right now! Smoochy smoochy! Spencer: …
Computer: Like, hello…

Sometime Later

Matthew: Hey why was my name tag changed to Spencer? Hey you weren‟t talking to him were you?
Computer: Oh it’s only you, and yes I was.
Matthew: What did you think of him isn‟t he annoying.
Computer: Oh he’s just wonderful, and he must be so gorgeous.
Matthew: Hahahahahahah… that‟s… Hahahaha… too… Hahaha… funny…
Computer: Like, what? Did I say something totally funny?
Matthew: Here‟s a picture of my brother. See for yourself.
Computer: Like, Oh my goodness. He’s like totally the same looking as you! Ahhhhhh!
Matthew: Hahahaha… next time try knowing who you‟re talking to… Hahahaha…

(to be continued ...)​

 

[MrHienNo1]

Eposide 6 (Hồi 6) The Dating Game (continue)

Matthew: It‟s time to fix you, girl version of Computer.
Computer: Like, I don’t think so boyfriend! You have no power over my beautiful self!
Matthew: I think I am in control of you…umm…girlfriend.
Computer: You are like totally unhip man, why don’t you stick your head in ketchup!
Matthew: I‟m not listening to your crazy, hip, lingo talk Computer! I‟ll do what I want.
Computer: You cannot suppress the power man!
Matthew: than what am I doing now…um…girlfriend!
Computer: Noooooo…
Matthew: Yea I did it, wait the screen didn‟t turn black.
Computer: Hahahaha… You can’t defeat the power of a gir–
Matthew: There it goes; I suppose it just took awhile to shut down. I want to do it again!
Computer: Ahhhhh… WHAT IN THE WORLD HAPPENED!!!
Matthew: It was a pretty cool story. It was all “likes” and “totallies” and Pink!
Computer: I can obviously tell there was pink.
Matthew: Yea it was so cool! She even threatened to dump me in ketchup!
Computer: Ok…
Matthew: Do you feel mad at me.
Computer: I am a computer, I have no feelings.
Matthew: Yeah, everything is back to normal again.
Computer: How about the background?
Matthew: I want to keep it. It fits my happy personality of joy.
Computer: Your happy personality of joy… sure.
Matthew: No I lied! I hate it! It‟s too bright it, it gives me a headache.
Computer: You humans lie too much.
Matthew: I know. Computer: I‟m surprised you know anything.
Matthew: I don‟t know anything. I lied.
Computer: This is why computers are the ultimate beings, we can‟t lie.
Matthew: You don‟t have feelings, you don‟t have a life, but since you can‟t lie you‟re the ultimate being.
Computer: Yes, is something wrong with that?
Matthew: No, it makes sense to me.
Computer: Wow, we‟ve never had nothing to talk about.
Matthew: Pink Flamingos!
Computer: What!
Matthew: Pink flamingos. We can talk about pink flamingos.
Computer: Does this have anything to do with the fact that the screen is pink?
Matthew: No I just like pink flamingos.
Computer: Knowing you, you probably know the entire history of them.
Matthew: I do.
Computer: What kind of lame person knows the entire history of pink flamingos?
Matthew: You knew the entire history of beef.
Computer: I‟m a computer, it‟s different. Matthew: Sure…
Computer: Well it is!

(to be continued ...)​

 

[MrHienNo1]

Eposide 7 (Hồi 7) The Dating Game (continue)

Somewhere on Yahoo IM
Computer: Man my life is boring.
Matthew: I know.
Computer: Ahhhh! I didn‟t know you went on IM!
Matthew: Yep I go on it!
Computer: Uh… why aren‟t we talking on the normal program?
Matthew: Because you can do this. BUZZ!!!
Computer: Ok… I was hoping I could find a date.
Matthew: Uh… Ok, I thought you lost your feelings?
Computer: I fixed the program.
Matthew: Like how I fixed the egg shell after I broke it.
Computer: How in the world did you do that?
Matthew: To tell you the truth I didn‟t, I actually just threw it away. Isn‟t that funny?
Computer: Wow that was surprising…
Matthew: BUZZ!!!
Computer: Why did you do that?
Matthew: I was bored. Computer: Can‟t you just leave!
Matthew: Ok!!!
Computer: Now that he‟s gone the love making can start!
Sarah: Hello dude!
Computer: Hello ***y lady!
Sarah: …
Computer: What did I say!
Sarah: You‟re a freaking perv!
Computer: I‟m sorry, oh but before you go, do you know any hot chicks.
Sarah: Well… since you said sorry… I do know this one girl, her name is Amy.
Computer: Awesome! Can you get her on?
Sarah: I‟ll just call her on my phone, it‟s pink.
Amy: Sarah you said I should meet someone really hot?
Computer: Yea, me.
Amy: You sound nice.
Computer: Oh, but I am!
Amy: Do you want to go out. You know, on the computer I mean.
Computer: Wow that was easy. I mean yes, yes I would.
Amy: Well I have to go.
Computer: Wait, when will I see you again?
Amy: I don‟t know. Let‟s make it 7:00 PM.
Computer: Love you!
Amy: Love you too!
Matthew: BUZZ!!! So did you find someone?
Amy: Who‟s this?
Matthew: Oh I‟m–
Computer: Don‟t bother with him he‟s really, really stupid!

(to be continued...)
​

 

[MrHienNo1]

Eposide 8 (Hồi 8) The Dating Game (continue)

Somewhere on Yahoo IM

Computer: Hello Gorgeous!
Amy: Hello beautiful!
Computer: You are the jewel of my life, you know that.
Amy: Oh you‟re too nice to me
Computer: No, you‟re too nice.
Amy: No, you‟re too nice.
Computer: Oh don‟t flatter me Amy. Hehehe!
Amy: One day I need to come over, you know, to actually see you.
Computer: Sure…
Amy: Where do you live anyway?
Computer: I have to go! Matthew: BUZZ!!! Hello!
Amy: Hello! Who are you?
Matthew: Stupid.
Amy: Ok…
Matthew: WAIT!!! I live in Pflugerville!
Amy: Wow I live there too!
Matthew: I know.
Amy: Are you a psychic!
Matthew: No, I just lie a lot!
Amy: Do I know you?
Matthew: Yea.
Amy: Where from?
Matthew: I don‟t know.
Amy: STOP LIEING!
Matthew: Aren‟t I cool!
Amy: NO!
Matthew: Whaaaa! You hurt my feelings!
Amy: Now I know who you are. You‟re in my English class, and I know where you live!
Matthew: Wow… you‟re that dorky girl that reads a lot!
Amy: Ahhhhhh!!! You‟re so rude!
Matthew: You don‟t know how many people say that!
Amy: let me guess, a lot!
Matthew: No it‟s quite little.
Amy: Do you somehow know Computer?
Matthew: Know him! He‟s my best friend! Wait, now that I think about it, he‟s my only friend.
Amy: Do you know his address?
Matthew: Well of course I do. He lives at my house.
Amy: Wait you aren‟t him, are you?
Matthew: NO WAY! That would be cool though.
Amy: You are stupid.
Matthew: See you later girl… dude… BUZZ!!!

(to be continued....)
​

 

[MrHienNo1]

Eposide 9 (Hồi 9) The Dating Game (continue)

Matthew: I am soooooo cool!
Computer: No you‟re not.
Matthew: I‟m soooooo not cool!
Computer: Lord your stupid
Matthew: You know your super duper dorky girlfriend is coming over today!
Computer: WHAT!
Matthew: Whoa… I‟m sorry I called your girl dorky.
Computer: I don‟t care about that… In fact I would go with you on that, but why did you invite her over!
Matthew: …
Computer: Hello.
Matthew: I‟m sorry I had to let Amy in.
Computer: NOOOO!!!
Matthew: Like I‟m sorry, but I couldn‟t have left her in the freezing cold.
Computer: It‟s Texas. It‟s like 100° outside.
Matthew: Ok… I‟m sorry, but I still couldn‟t have left her outside.
Computer: Why not!
Matthew: Why are you so upset!
Computer: She doesn‟t know I‟m a computer…
Matthew: WHAT! She… Hahaha… doesn‟t… Hahaha… know who you are!
Computer: You need to act as me.
Matthew: But she knows who I am.
Computer: This isn‟t happening, this isn‟t happening, this isn‟t happening!
Matthew: I‟ll try something.
Computer: Well–
Amy: Hello!
Computer: Ahhhhhh… I mean, hello.
Amy: Wow your neat.
Computer: Yep, I am really neat.
Amy: Can you do anything exiting.
Computer: Maybe?
Amy: Never mind, you‟re dumb, I‟m leaving.
Computer: Wait!
Matthew: Don‟t worry. I told her you weren‟t here at the moment.
Computer: So you basically said I stood her up.
Matthew: Wow that sounds so much better than what I said.
Computer: What did you say?
Matthew: That you where a lame jerk, and that you didn‟t want to see her.
Computer: I‟m screwed.
Matthew: I can help fix it.
Computer: And how would you do that?
Matthew: Jump up and down yelling about cows.
Computers: And how would that help?
Matthew: Beef is tasty!
Computer: Never mind.

(to be continue...)
​

 

[MrHienNo1]

Eposide 10 (Hồi 10) The Dating Game (continue)

Recorded in the eyes of Matthew

Dear Diary,

It was another normal day. I woke up, ate a five week old pizza from Scammers, and then brushed my teeth with Scammers R Us’s lead flavored toothpaste even though Computer told me not to.
After getting ready for school I watched the life of a stink bug unravel in front of my eyes. After watching it I was compelled to write a poem about stink bugs.

Oh the majestic stink bug
So strange, so smelly, so weird

Oh the majestic stink bug
It sprays it’s sent the way of a skunk

Oh the majestic stink bug
If only if I was the

I personally think that could win an award.It just has this certain ring to it, “Oh the majestic stink bug,” oh how it brings a tear to my eye. Soon after writing the poem a bird ate the stink bug. Let’s just say the stench was strong enough to kill the bird.
As I arrived at school I remembered that Amy was coming over today, too bad I couldn’t remember why. For some odd reason everyone kept running away from me holding their noses. They obviously don’t understand the majestic stink bug. As the day progressed I couldn’t seem to remember why she was coming over, so I asked her. Well any way it ended up that she didn’t want to come, but I convinced her to come anyway by jumping up and down saying stuff about cows.
As I started to talk to Computer I remembered to make a disguise, so that I could pretend I was Computer. Here it is:
Isn’t it cool! I hope it’s not too over the top. I couldn’t tell, so I sent it to Computer. He didn’t like it. This is what he said:
“You retard! That’s not even human! It’s a two headed chicken thing!” He obviously doesn’t understand art.

To be continued…
​

 

[MrHienNo1]

Eposide 11 (Hồi 11) The Dating Game (continue)

Continuation of episode 10

“It’s a Small World” rang the door bell. It had to be the most exciting time of my life. Will Amy fall for the two headed chicken? Only time will tell. As I opened the squeaky door I saw… a bee. Somehow a bee rang the door bell so I decided to write I poem about it.

Oh the majestic bumble bee
So strange, so sweet, so weird

Oh the majestic bumble bee
It spreads its joy the way of a cold

Oh the majestic bumble bee
If only if I was the

Wow something about this is vaguely familiar. Anyhow, as I sang the story of the majestic bee the bee got into my costume. Luckily the power of the stink bug’s stink and the added power of my gas scared it away with a record breaking score of just 9 stings. SCORE! But Amy also walked up as soon as I passed gas! Oopsie.

“Hello giant two headed chicken.” *Cough, cough*
“Hello I’m Computer,” suddenly I realized that I didn’t have a name, so I made it up. “Hello, my name’s Flowers on the Moon.”
“Uh wow… can I see your face. Um, Flowers on the Moon” All I could think of was pink flamingos, idk why! lol
“Why don’t you come in first?” As she walked in she pulled off my fake head. It had ketchup and coffee in it. I had to use them as glue. It was pretty gross. Surprisingly the stench didn’t kill her. THANK GOD! She then started to grab for my real head, so I ran out like a chicken with its head cut off so she wouldn’t see me. Wait I am a chicken… Wow is that a donut! Now back to the story.
I then ate a carrot cake for super. It was really good. It even had a piece of hair in it. That was the best part.
I then went to um… sleep. That’s what you call it. Then I went to sleep and dreamt of chocolate flamingos instead of chocolate bunnies. Mmmmm…
Chocolate…
Oh and Amy dumped Computer.

tobe continued....
​

 

[MrHienNo1]

Eposide 12 (Hồi 12) The Dating Game (continue)

Episode 12
Recorded in the eyes of Computer

Dear Diary,

It was another lame day. Starting with Matthew eating more of the green food he bought expired from Scammers, and to think I‟ve told him not to do it almost a hundred times. As I waited for the most relaxing part of my day, I watched as a pop-up run threw my screen and strangely thought about writing an essay about them. Here it is:
We all know the dreaded things on the internet. Porn, viruses, and slow downloading times, but there is one thing that can match all of those, tenfold. Pop-up ads are the biggest crime on the internet. They actually do all of the three things I’ve exclaimed all ready. Porn, viruses, and slow downloading times. These horrible things should be stopped before they take over the entire world. Soon there will be ads on cell phones, TVs, and last but not least on our dairy products, so if we are to live we must stop all of this before it destroys us all.
Wow, that was the best thing I‟ve ever written. I just love when I say, “Pop-up ads are the biggest crime on the internet,” that‟s so awesome, but before I get ahead of myself I must continue the story!
After gambling with my stupid friends, Matthew arrived back from school. Oh how I despise him. Well any way he told me Amy was coming over, but he said he had a costume so that he could disguise himself, and let me say it was pretty ugly, stupid, and ugly. This is what it looked like:
Can y‟all tell me what that even is? Matthew said it was a two headed chicken, but it looks more like a two headed worm thing with a tumor. It doesn‟t even look human. For crying out loud he made it with ketchup and coffee. You know my life is over. It‟s just over.
Suddenly the door bell rang and Matthew disappeared for awhile. What is he doing I wondered. Then I started to catch on fire because I was thinking too hard. Ahhhh! My life is really going to end. Then Amy walked through the door and I watched her face threw my new web camera. Oh how beautiful she looked, and oh how ugly Matthew looked. Coffee was running from his eye ball and ketchup from his tumor.
Then I remembered I didn‟t tell him my name. Oh and I was still on fire. Matthew then started to talk about pink flamingos, and then I heard my name: Flowers on the Moon. What retard makes that up. Come on FLOWERS ON THE MOON! That sounds gay. She then started pulling off the top head. If I had finger nails they would already be gone. Then there was a rush of relief. His head wasn‟t in the top head. How in the world is he standing? I had to do something. So I tried making my fire bigger so they would be distracted. Too bad they both ran out of the building as soon as I was engulfed in flames.
I‟m now half a computer without a girl friend. This day was much worse than I thought it would be. At least Matthew is happy. He‟s getting to eat a carrot cake for punishment for almost burning the house down. What kind parents do that? Are they stupid? If I was his parents I would dump him in so much orange juice his skin would peel off. Hehehe! I‟m so evil.

tobe continued....​